Us. A poem.

I realized that I was meant to fly, but something is surely holding me down.  It is the feeling of a bird being wingless. The worst of all. It is again sad to realize that this realization is useless. What do I even do after knowing it? Nothing at all. BLANK and LOST, as usual. I had no idea about what I was doing. It is not over yet, my level of thinking went extreme when I thought of telling my girl child about my real self, telling her to be the old me, letting her realize that love isn't easy. I have no clue about my direction, aim or goals. All I can see is him. Just like the whole world has disappeared. Leaving us alone. Me and him! I wish I could just reach the climax of this moment. Whatever it be. Because the thought of what is going to happen is totally eating me from inside. I am unable to live a normal life. These thoughts, the darkest moments of my life are these thoughts. I wish I could face them with courage and clarity. I don't want to hurt anybody except me. 🖤

 I've been thinking about us whole night. Nothing new cause we've been so many heights. What is it? Love or Lust or just a habit that I can never leave. It's been a while we've hugged and talked somethings. Is it just me or you too want wings? At times I feel like there are just no strings. I still thinks it's just a thought, I can never leave. I do have a lot of things in mind, almost everything's about you, I'm so blind. Someone like you, someday I'll find. But all that I wish is that they don't remind, me of you. After all this, I feel pessimistic cause some days I think I want to leave. The Secret Writer ♡